Too Much Peanut Butter

Poor people usually don't eat right because they have to eat foods that will fill them up without costing a lot.  This week, for instance, I found myself eating a peanut butter sandwich about two or three times a day. ( As a mother, I always save the best food for my children since they still have that keen sense of what their bodies need which unfortunately gets interpreted as "the picky eater."

At any rate, although I've never been overweight, I notice that at certain times the pressure of being poor coupled with a lousy food and drink intake can take it's toll on me.  For me it manifests as a dull lethargic kind of sensation that seems to hide just under the surface of everything I do.   Some may call it the proverbial "bad mood" assuming it's purely a mental condition but for me it's definitely a physical one.

My body becomes bloated, my face feels like it's sagging, and my natural energy level becomes sub-par.  I believe not recognizing that this condition is a combination of stress and lack of healthy sustenance leads may poor to seek mental help and many of them wind up on all sorts of dangerous drugs designed to offset the real problem.  ( The graph at the very bottom of this link shows that the increase in anti-depressant use is highest among the poor.  http://meps.ahrq.gov/mepsweb/data_files/publications/st76/stat76.pdf)  

I personally fell into this trap for years blaming my state of mind (and subsequent long lasting poverty) on some mental defect or on the doctors diagnoses of me as "chronically  depressed."  Ironically, no high doses or combinations of these popular drugs ever made me "feel" any better so some years ago now, I finally stopped looking for the answer to my poverty in them.

Too many poor people unfortunately fall into this trap and wind up poisoning their bodies with these prescribed drugs which only serve to keep them numb, unthinking, and docile never realizing that their poverty is a condition of an unequal and unjust societal plague.  ( Let me just mention once here that the pharmaceutical companies who make these drugs are laughing all the way to the bank.)

The fact that natural remedies exist for cleansing your body and mind isn't something the mainstream poor person examines very often but they should because if you are poor it is even more "IMPERATIVE" that you remain alert and in top physical condition.  Everyone can make their own decisions on what that might entail.  I am going to go on a fast starting today.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Make A Difference

The thing about poverty is that once you are in it, it really is hard to get out of.  It is a proven fact that whether you were born into it or fell into it later on your own, once you are there, the climb out is nearly impossible.

Understanding that nothing you did or didn't do in the past can change the fact that it's happened to YOU is crucial to getting through this phase of your life (let's hope it's a phase) with as little heart-ache as possible.  I bring this up again and again because it is so important but you MUST not blame yourself for this predicament.

Adding to your stress and depression level at a time like this is just dangerous.  You have enough to deal with so be NICE to yourself as much as you can.  DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT listen to anyone or anything that will bring you down.  (that includes your mother)

No amount of analyzing how you got here will make a bit of difference so let it go.  Vanished, good-bye, no more!


Unemployed?  No problem.  Your job now is to do anything and everything that you enjoy doing that doesn't cost money.  This is the time to explore all those things you didn't have time for when you were busy slaving away making a few people super wealthy.

 

Reading, writing, meditating, exploring your connection to being, walking, jogging, and spending quality time with your children are a few things I like that don't cost a thing but follow your own interests.

Remember, the world is negative enough without you adding to it.  Just keep in mind that much of the world is experiencing economic hardships (except about 1% of the population) and we all need to keep it on a positive note.  The world and the universe does respond to energy so be the one who makes yourself and others smile as often as you can, anything less is just irresponsible.

Take this time to connect with people whether online or in person, preferably both.  Connections to others is the fabric that can sustain you through anything so now is not the time to lock yourself in your mind and retreat from the world.  Your mind can't help you through this, if left to your mind you may wind up in the mental ward and you don't want that, even the street is better than being locked up.

Your mind will tell you all kinds of things that are not true so don't listen to it.  Contrary to popular belief, being poor is not all that bad if you are able to make the most of it.  Many wise and enlightened people came from poverty, much more in fact than came from wealth and privilege and the whole of upper and middle class combined.

So consider yourself lucky that you have this opportunity to be and know who you truly are.  Not everyone gets the chance to live through something like this and most if it is thrust upon them will fight it to the end never realizing anything.  Some people for whatever reason just won't or can not wake up.

But you can.

You can make a difference in someones' life today

even if it is just your own.

The Big Question

So now what, you are poor, stuck in a shitty little apartment, or worse, homeless?  Your days go by dealing with one frustration after another.  You feel sorry for yourself and you are jealous of all those vain bastards driving brand new SUV's, sporting some fancy threads and a Gucci handbag.  Is that you?


You walk by all those expensive restaurants, take a look inside at the aliens sipping champagne and eating gourmet meals and you feel?  What do you feel?  What are all those emotions rising up in you?


Now you turn away, pretend you don't give a damn, turn yourself off like they turned your electricity off last month.  You are in the dark with only a candle, a small flame that you can't even read by, a light so small you can only see a foot or two in front of you.


Your mind goes into over-drive and starts to explore the what-ifs?  What if I'd done that or what if I hadn't done this?  Where would I be now if I'd just been stronger, smarter, or more persistent?


Yes, here in lies the BIG QUESTION every poor person wants to know and it goes like this.


IS THIS MY FAULT?


Every poor person out there wants to know the answer to that question and here is what I have to say about it.


 It really doesn't matter.


"What do you mean it doesn't matter?" you might ask now and I'll say it again "It doesn't matter."


You are where you are.  Have you made mistakes?  Of course, you have, you are human.  No human can go through life without them, not you, not me, not anybody.  This, however, doesn't make your poverty "your own damn fault."  And nothing, absolutely nothing, you did or didn't do to wind up eating beans is a  reflection on who you are.


You can not go back.  You can not change the past.  It is gone forever.  You have no access to it.  "Back to the Future" was just a movie.


Neither can you go forward.  You can not jump into next week or next year.  Your future is an illusion.  You don't have one.


All you have is what you see in front of you right now.  There is nothing else.  So you can stop asking the question because it makes absolutely no difference to anyone if you had a fortune and pissed it away, or you had a job and got laid off, or fired, or quit because you couldn't stand it anymore.  Nobody cares, why do you?


Thinking about all that crap is like pissing on yourself and why piss on yourself when the world is willing to do that for you?


Yes, the world hates and blames poor people.


Don't add to it.


You're better than that.

Poor Entertainment

Good morning, it's your lazy, worthless, disgusting poor person here ready to do nothing productive all day but drink coffee and muse on the wonders of homelessness.  That's right folks, jobs like writing and blogging, are only jobs if you get paid for them and you can prove you are "somebody" worth reading about.


Take my mother, for instance, whenever I see her she can not resist the urge to tell me from the bottom on up what a worthless piece of crap I am and that I should be out begging to clean someone's toilet for a buck instead of sitting on my ass writing.


Self-riotous people love nothing so much as getting down on the down and out.  Nothing else in the world makes them feel more Superior than seeing a poor person.  It's such a tremendous ego boost for them they just can't resist it.  Rule number #1 (if you are poor) is don't take these people seriously.  If they were such fantastically upstanding people, they would be spreading joy and warmth not smirking at you.


This is easier said then done but with just a little practice you can get it down.  Just remember that when they are dead their body will decay in exactly the same way yours will.  No difference there.  After that, mentally dive right down into your own heart and know that you are good after all you know that your own level of compassion and empathy is alive and well.  Don't bother thinking you are better than them, you're not.  You are the same animal dressed in different clothing.


Differences are the colors that make the world a beautiful place so keep in mind that you and your situation are different not less than.  Think of it this way, if there were no poor people how would a rich person know they were rich?  You are providing a valuable service by reminding them that their lives aren't so bad after all.  They will look at you and be grateful for the comforts they get to enjoy everyday like going out to eat in a restaurant, driving their car, and having a bed they can sleep in.


Trust me there are a lot of people out there who have a nice home, a great job, and a wonderful family who are completely miserable so take the time to observe them when you get the chance because they are EVERYWHERE.  You will see them becoming irritated at the most inconsequential things like having to wait in the check-out line or the traffic stop.  My mother for instance goes completely ape shit bonkers if you fail to close the gate on her porch.


Why am I telling you all this?  It's simple really.  Poor people need entertainment more than most people to distract them from the things they have to deal with that really do suck. ( like running out of food or having your cell phone disconnected FOR GOOD)  So sit back and have a chuckle at all those pissed off people running around like their pants are on fire.  Once you develop the eye for it, there's no amount of money that can buy this uncensored type of entertainment.


So open your eyes, the world really is your playground.

It's Dead

Don't worry, it's dead.  It's not going to pop off your computer screen into your tidy sprawling home.


This is a poor man's nightmare.  It's the dreaded cockroach and my friends trailer is chock full infested with them.  Now don't get all up on your high horse and think that he lives in filth.  The cockroaches were here when he moved in.


"Well, why doesn't he tell his landlord about them and demand they do something about them" you might ask.  I did.  I asked and you know what?  His answer made perfect sense to me when I found out he is sometimes late on the rent or can't pay it all.  His landlord takes what she can get and doesn't make a fuss.  So neither does he.


Personally, I detest the nasty little creatures.  They totally freak me out or at least they did.  I'm getting used to killing them now.  Sometimes I stay up till four in the morning, spray bottle in hand and go on a rampage like a military drone exploding a village.


Every time I think I'm getting a handle on them, there comes the night when they think it's safe to come outside again.  They are wrong every time.  GOTCHA!


One thing I'm really happy about (yes seriously there is an upside to this story) is that cock-roaches are small and somewhat easy to annihilate.  Rats are not.  You probably don't know this but poor people often live with rats.  Believe me, I know it.


There is nothing quite as startling as sitting on the pot trying to take a dump and having one run over your foot.  Or turning on the light in the kitchen and finding one stuck in your sink UNABLE TO GET OUT!  Yes, it's true, I once rented a place like this.  It was of course city approved.


It had roaches too but somehow the rats took precedent over them so I didn't notice them as much.


Well, I'll keep you updated on the roach infestation.  I know you are just as interested in that as I am.

We Are Nothing

The thing about having nothing is that there is nothing to lose or at least less to lose depending where you fall on the ladder of things.  I can't lose my job, I can't lose my home, I can't even lose face because when you are poor you've already done all that.


These are actually wonderful things to experience because when it comes right down to it, it's good to know that I am nothing.  There are millions upon millions of people in the world so what is the worth of one person?


Nothing.


Oh, misguided ignorant people might subscribe that some ridiculously rich and famous person is something, but I tell you nobody is anybody special.  We are all nothing in the scope of things.


Eventually, you will die and eventually anyone who knew you will die, and eventually even those people who they might have told stories about you will die till eventually any trace of you is gone.  You never mattered anyway.


There is real freedom in this because once you realize you are an absolute zero, you can stop struggling to be something that you could never be anyway.  You don't need for people to understand you anymore.  You don't have to explain what the hell happened anymore.  It's all completely absurd.


You don't have to change anything you can't change anymore.  If you could change and you are reading this don't you think you would have achieved this or that change by now?  It's not going to happen so now you can stop your completely useless and incessant planning and scheming.


You can stop driving yourself mad trying to find an answer to it all.  You realize there isn't one.  For whatever reason or whatever course your life took to land you in poverty, it's pointless to rehash it again and again.  You are here and you are here NOW.


NOW you are poor and that's okay because your life was pointless to begin with and it will end the same way.


After that, what's left to worry about?


The pressure is off.


You can be happy you got to walk down the street a few times.  You can be happy that breathing is free.


Everything else you get is just a bonus.

We Are Awesome

Okay, let's get started.  We don't have a home but because I'm basically a nice, generous person, and I've managed to make at least one friend in life who is actually happy to have my company (everyday) in his home.  No, we are not an item.  We are friends.  I add that in case there is a prejudiced person reading this who thinks that poor women have no morals or values.  (SCREW YOU) I also don't do drugs.  I'm not an alcoholic and I'm neither mentally ill or unstable.  (SCREW YOU AGAIN)


When I say "we" I'm referring to myself and my three children.  I am a single mom and to put your question to rest, I CHOSE to be this way.  The father is a creep, so I threw him to the curb, and gratefully he never came back.


That's all I'm going to tell you about my personal life so let's move on.


I'm having the time of my life on most days.  I don't care that my fingernails and toes aren't manicured and I don't long to walk around like a zombie at the mall buying things that are perfectly useless like a $200 picture frame or an expensive espresso machine.  The receptacle I make coffee in isn't worth two bucks but it makes one nice big cup at a time and it works just fine.


We ARE among the lucky poor that have a computer and my friend graciously lets us use his wireless Internet connection.  (to haunt you with) We do not have cable TV here so I'm grateful my kids don't get hooked into all those idiotic children's shows that have nothing to do with the reality of anyone who actually lives in this world.  Please, when is the last time you saw a kid on Disney channel screaming "Cockroach" or doing the dishes.  Piss on that.  I'm happy to say that since we've been staying here I've reduced the cockroach population by at least a thousand.  (and that's without dangerous chemicals and just common household remedies...like borax and the bottom of my shoe)


We are perfectly above normal people.  My children aren't hoodlums or out of control.  We don't rob houses at night and you won't hear us cussing each other out from down the street.  We don't hit each other. (I don't even spank...read Alice Miller you spanking morons) We are a peaceful, loving family unit.


Poor yes, miserable no.


You make the best of what you have available to work with.


That is what poor people do.


We are adaptable.


We are awesome!

Poor? Get over it!

So your living in poverty and your life sucks?  I get it.  Seriously, I have no income what-so-ever right now since I lost my job but suck my life does not.  Okay, so I'm not on the street right now but I have been and if I piss off the only friend I have left in the world, hello pavement.


Now you might think I should be crying in my coffee.  NO!  Coffee is my favorite beverage, why would I ruin it by diluting it with my salty tears.  Salt does not belong in coffee and I'm a happy person if I don't run out of it.  Of the four major food groups I can still afford (water, beans, rice, coffee) coffee is my favorite.  Coffee has the added quality of making you forget you are hungry.


So you think poverty is a serious issue, well of course it is, but that doesn't mean it has to ruin a person.  I mean I don't take my own poverty all that serious because well, I've learned that doing that to anything usually just exacerbates the problem and I'd prefer not to wind up in the morgue just yet for jumping off the nearest cliff.


I think too one of the major problems with being poor is that poor people don't know what to do with themselves which why I'm writing this blog.  Honestly, one thing I've been trying to figure out for years is why so many poor people seem to have so many other problems and I've come to the conclusion that too many of them think they don't matter so I'm here to say "I'm poor and I matter!"


Just because I don't have a pot to piss in and I live with cockroaches doesn't mean my voice is unworthy of being heard.  It also doesn't mean I'm a criminal or that I'm not highly intelligent because if that were true it would mean over 50% of the world's population are just stupid.  I don't know about you but most of the stupid people I know actually have a nice home and plenty of money.  Many of them are actually running (and ruining) the country.


So if you are poor and depressed, read on and prepare to laugh a little and live a little.  Just in case you are hoping that I might be able to give you some advice on how to get out of poverty let me tell you right now, that is not going to happen because if I knew the answer to that one do you think I would be writing this?


I'm expert at living in poverty, not getting out of it.  Not yet anyway, but if that happens you will be the first to know how it happened.  You've got my word on that noise.


Peace and Love because when you're poor like me, that's all you have to give!